Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
