im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Found your dick twin last night
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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