you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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