Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
