Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
