Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
