well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
