Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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