I must be too annoying 4 u.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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