Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
