I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
