that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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