sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize