Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
