Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
