What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
