I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
