I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
