My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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