I wish I only lived at night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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