what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize