It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize