mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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