That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
