Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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