We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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