he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
