You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize