We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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