Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
