with your own penis?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
