Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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