Well apparently he's into motor boating.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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