he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
