THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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