I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
