Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
