People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Houston, we have a squirter
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
