I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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