His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
