you would pick up someone in the library
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
