Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize