I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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