Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
