Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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