i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
