I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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