Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
