office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
