Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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