just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
