Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Pooping to opera.
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