i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
sarcasm needs its own font
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
