quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
