So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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