I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
