I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize