Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
