the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
