Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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