I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize