im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
