O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
