Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
