you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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