Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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