halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
