I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize