Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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